If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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