It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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