At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
