i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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