should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
