I'm pants shitting drunk right now
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
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Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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