bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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