He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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