Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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