I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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