We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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