i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
