I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
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We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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