Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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