Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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