My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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