She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
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There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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