My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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