So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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