i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize