A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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