I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
