I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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