Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
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Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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