She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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