Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
