How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
