I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
