I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
