so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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