Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
