he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
