I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
