ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
