So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
