lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
