Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
