Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize