ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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