I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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