But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Randomize
