i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
one might say we're banned from that church
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
