You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
