you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
do nipples grow back?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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