Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.