Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

  (760): View more from California

  I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool. (912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar? (760): I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out. http://tfl.nu/o1sk
  Replies (26) Good night (4508) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman. http://tfl.nu/dzx3
  Replies (55) Good night (7066) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you http://tfl.nu/77p0
  Replies (22) Good night (5212) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans http://tfl.nu/zwc8
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (3487) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk. http://tfl.nu/s5cc
  Replies (15) Good night (6076) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head. http://tfl.nu/4u7e
  Replies (44) Good night (7114) Bad night (1602) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you http://tfl.nu/aqjq
  Replies (8) Good night (2812) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter http://tfl.nu/6hrd
  Replies (5) Good night (2458) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I? http://tfl.nu/nbwe
  Replies (8) Good night (765) Bad night (2513) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer. http://tfl.nu/vxsa
  Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything. http://tfl.nu/jcb8
  Replies (4) Good night (1870) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier. http://tfl.nu/u3me
  Replies (10) Good night (793) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed http://tfl.nu/55n0
  Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order. http://tfl.nu/89fj
  Replies (8) Good night (197) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays. http://tfl.nu/jyu4
  Replies (4) Good night (543) Bad night (207)

Randomize