apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
