just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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