Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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