I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
