What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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