she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize