Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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