I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
