Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just puked most of my soul out..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
